Sad Songs & Whiskey

by Phil Hummer & The White Falcons

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credits

released August 8, 2008

All Songs Written by Phil Hummer
c.p. House of Hummer BMI
Phil Hummer: vocals, guitar
Crystal "Bang Bang" Pistol: snare
Ray Doll Hummer: doghouse, vocals

Recorded at Fry Pharmacy Studios, Old Hickory, TN

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Phil Hummer Nashville, Tennessee

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Track Name: Switchblade Knife
Switchblade Knife
written by Phil Hummer

they put me in the jailhouse for fighting
fighting with my wife
they let me out in the morning
but they kept my switchblade knife

it was just a little bitty scuffle
between a man and his wife
you shouldn't ought to put me in the can
and you shouldn't ought to steal my knife

copper can you hear me calling man
i carried that blade half my life
that pretty pearly handle's gonna burn your hand
thats my switchblade knife

i bet you got it down in your sock
just in case your situation gets tight
believe me i understand
cause thats my switchblade knife

copper can you hear me calling man
i carried that blade half my life
that pretty pearly handle's gonna burn your hand
thats my switchblade knife
Track Name: Modern Day Girl
Modern Day Girl
written by Phil Hummer

the girls around here they don't see me
they just see my country clothes
but theres one that i'm sure god made for me
i've just got to let her know

i've got an old fashioned love for a modern day girl
she's a modern girl in modern world
what has this old fashioned boy got to do
to win the love of a girl like you

i saw you standing on the corner
you looked so lovely and fine
i said don't judge a book by the cover
i intend to make you mine

i've got an old fashioned love for a modern day girl
she's a modern girl in modern world
what has this old fashioned boy got to do
to win the love of a girl like you
Track Name: Pretty Kitty
Pretty Kitty
written by Phil Hummer

i've got a pretty kitty she's a real snatch scratcher
she came from her mama's pussy cat
she's a buck tooth beaver and a back door heaver
and she pees in my stetson hat

she's got a diamond collar so i chain her to the bedpost
in case she tries to run away
since she can't go strayin she enjoys playing
with big balls as i swing them to and frey

she's got some dirty whiskers cause she's always in the creamer
the gravy boat makes her slippery
if that thing gets wrinkled i just take out my steamer
and hose her fur liberally

her paws go pitter patter as i set down seaman's platter
and she concentrates on her meal
i give her love and affection and built a scratching post erection
she attacks that thing with zeal

i've got a pretty kitty she's a real snatch scratcher
she came from her mama's pussy cat
she's a buck tooth beaver and a back door heaver
and she pees in my stetson hat
Track Name: Toward
Toward
written by Phil Hummer

something's going wrong inside my mind
i can't leave my troubled ways behind
i keep getting them cuffs on tight
and sitting in the jail house all damn night
lord guide me towards the light

there is something besides the alcohol driving me on
some kind of sick stark sadness is pushing me along
i feel it rising off the street from footprints of a million feet
lord guide me towards thy kingdom sweet

i feel that i'm reacting to science and man
i don't feel like i'm fitting in with mother nature's plan
i heard a little bird singing up there on the pole
he's singing lord guide me towards being whole

i've been feeling long gone from the faces that i've seen
a million hungry eyes are burning holes inside of me
i wish i was a fish swimming out there on the tide
singing lord guide me towards thy side
Track Name: No Matter What I Do
No Matter What I do
written by Phil Hummer

i had a dream that you were on my side
i had a dream that love could turn the tide
i've been looking over my shoulder
you were right behind
no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind

sleeping by the window don't seem to ease the pain
listening to the fireflies they're whispering your name
nothing is for certain except its hurting all the time
no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind

i'm gonna dig a hole
so dark and deep
i'm gonna jump right in
i'm gonna go to sleep
when i close my eyes your face i'll find
no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind

i had a dream that you were on my side
i had a dream that love could turn the tide
i've been looking over my shoulder
you were right behind
no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind
Track Name: Looney Tune
Looney Tune
written by Phil Hummer

popeye loved his spinach and he loved his olive oil
and they loved there pretty little sweet pea that sprouted out of the soil
then along one day came brutus and he tried to put them down
but popeye was a sailor man so they sailed to another town

under dog was a beagle and he loved to pop them pills
and he loved his pretty little polly and they lived in the hollywood hills
their room mates name was porky he was a handsome pig
but he had him a specch impediment so he never did make it big

their landlord was a rooster named foghorn leghorn
he kept his feathers numbered from the day that he was born
they went out to the desert to eat some peyote
and they saw a giant ostrich getting chased by a coyote

they all sat down to dinner and when the bill did come their way
they said i'll gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today

aint this a loony tune
when you're filled up with doom and gloom
sing you a looney tune
Track Name: Chocolate Easter Bunny
Chocolate Easter Bunny
written by Phil Hummer

hello my name is chocolate easter bunny
i'm handsome but i'm hollow deep inside
you bit off both my ears and licked away my tears
you ate my lucky foot and i died

hello my name is samsonite luggage
you took me to california for awhile
you filled me full of junk and you rode me in the trunk
now you're trying to tell me I'm out of style

i'm just a candle living in an electric world
you won't see me shine when the lights are on
but when the power goes
you're gonna see me glow
and you'll be sorry you ignored me for so long

hello my name is zenith tv antenna
i'm up here on the roof from days gone by
i'm receiving from above but i was wrongfully unplugged
now i can't relay my message although i try

i'm just a candle living in an electric world
you won't see me shine when the lights are on
you could take me on a romantic date
or put me on top of someones cake
make a wish blow me out and i'll be gone
Track Name: Some Folks
Some Folks
written by Phil Hummer

i'm gonna walk across the street
i'm gonna exercise my feet
i'm gonna step right up to your door
i'm gonna rap tap tap until you open up
and ask you why don't you come around no more
and also why don't you love me
are you thinking of me
do you remember my name
and furthermore why do some folks have to change
when some folks have to stay just the same
i used to carry all your books
i used to give you longing looks
i used to for you after school
now i see you walking with some other jim dandy and i feel like a fool
i want to know why don't you love me
and are you thinking of me
and do you remember my name
and also why do some folks have to change
when some folks stay the same
Track Name: Alki Boy Blues
Alki Boy Blues
written by Phil Hummer

yesterday is over today has begun
tomorrow ain't worth nothing cause it never comes
nobody loves me nobody cares
I'm gonna get my straight razor and cut off all my hair
no ones gonna know me with my bald shiny head
so i put on my nightshirt and climb into bed
I'm gonna wake up in the morning
i shall be a changed man
i'm gonna need a bottle of whiskey to remember who i am
then i put on my guitar and i'm singing for the man
i'm gonna get all unruly and get thrown in the can
i'm back in the lockup i'm back out on the line
swinging my hammer i'm doing my time
i'm building my muscles on three squares a day
i'm a bad motherfucker so you get out of my way
they let me out a little but early my behavior it was good
when the whiskey aint in me i'm doing like i should
but the cycle starts over when I'm back out on the street
and i climb inside every bottle that i meet
so goes the story i'm just like my dad
just another little alki boy born to be sad
Track Name: Crutch
Crutch
written by Phil Hummer

did you ever love someone so much
you turned their love into a crutch
and leaned upon it a little too hard
until it cracked and broke apart
thats how it was
who knows what it will be
now it is what it is
did you ever lay down beside someone
and feel them burn you like the sun
because their love was true and pure
and yours was blue and insecure
thats how it was
who knows what it will be
now it is what it is
i loved you then as i love you now
the future is in the past somehow
beyond the shifting sands of time
i see your face and claim it mine
Track Name: Darlin Are You Alright
Darlin Are You Alright

theres a street light at the end of my block
it shines through the treetops onto my bed
and it shines like a beacon to lost ships in the night
and i'm wondering darlin are you alright
i don't know if you're out in some bar room
or curled safe in somebody's arms
are you walking alone in the moon light
i wonder darlin are you alright
theres a soft breeze coming in through the window
and it's whispering your name in my head
and it's dancing around with the curtains of white
and i wonder darken are you alright
i don't know if you're out in some bar room
or curled safe in somebody's arms
are you walking alone in the moon light
i'm wondering are you alright